We are always super excited to have others learn more about what we do. We are even more excited to see the Wall Street Journal pick us up for a front page story on wingwoman services!
It’s fascinating to see so many people take interest in the pivots, or wingwomen. It seems like such a small portion of what we truly want to work on with people. We view ourselves as working in the confidence industry. We work with clients on improving their self-image, and knowledge, in dating so they are better equipped when meeting that special someone. However, one thing that holds many of them back is not drive, nor ambition, but the fear of failing. It manifests itself in a gripping fear or awkwardness at times.
In fact, this was a big factor behind our Fire Cupid app, for which we chose the tagline “Help Stop Awkward Dating”. We’ve all been on those awkward dates. We’ve all been in those embarrassing situations. We’ve heard horror stories from friends which make us wonder, “what’s wrong with people?”
I remember my first date with a girl from High School involved her ramming the car into a restaurant curb and completely blowing out the tire. Me and two other guys, who happened to drive by at that time, couldn’t get the tire off of the vehicle. The tire was my sword in the stone that I couldn’t remove for the life of me to impress my date. We ended up sitting on the curb waiting for her dad to arrive. My ego was deflated but it didn’t stop us from joking for the next hour or so. I think I even worked up the courage to touch her on the shoulder once. Eventually, her dad showed up with a Thor-like hammer and without saying a word, barely tapped the tire and it flew off the vehicle to my macho high school chagrin. I left having no idea whether she wanted a kiss that night. I was too scarred. I had no feedback tool for how she felt. I remember these as the “cute” type of awkward. Those issues were uncontrollable, or it was handled with grace. These were OK and I love these moments in my dating life.
However, there are also those “bad” awkward moments. These made many of my early dates, even relationships, painful. The inability for me to know how the other person felt. Me holding back how I felt. Me being afraid to connect with someone intimately when we both wanted to. I remember a time in high school having a girl touch my leg, ask me to get in the hot tub, and tell me how cute I was. I had no idea she liked me. I was second guessing everything as all I could think about was how cute I found her. It’s almost as if a bus could hit me and I would still not be in reality. I was too nervous. I had that awkward feeling inside that I couldn’t get rid of. These ruined my experiences with connecting with people at times. Unfortunately there were way more awkward moments than not.
Would I take them back if I could? Here’s where it gets weird. I can’t say with an open mind that I would take them all back. But, to think of it another way: would I want to know what I know now before those instances? Would I want a feedback mechanism for knowing how they felt? Would I want to know how to get rid of those butterflies gripping me from reacting? ABSOLUTELY!
It seems weird to admit that but it’s completely true. I’d love to know how to handle situations better than I did in the past. I would want to know how to take that feeling of always looking for validation from the other person, to changing it to a feeling of acceptance. I wanted to know how to feel more comfortable with the other person and get rid of many of those butterflies that made me act so strange. It wasn’t until I started deeply studying body language that I finally understood what was happening. I can think back to those times and think about how we sat on the curb. I think about how the hot tub girl and I looked at each other. I can finally just “get” what I was trying to understand back then.
My new years resolution is to give others these feedback mechanisms. I feel like giving others that hot tub experience that I missed out on. If any of this rang true for you, the biggest compliment you could give me is to check out our upcoming body language app. It’s all about body language and a primer on getting rid of that awkward feelings you get when you first meet someone. We’ve got plenty of updates on the way, including knowing how to find out if they like you and how to use body language to tell. It’s crazy we’ve spent a year working on this thing. We can’t wait to show it off! Check it out now at http://fire-cupid.com and let me know what’s going on with you! Email me at kevin @ miss pivot.com with any questions! I’d love to hear from you.
-Kevin
