Things you don’t hear before a date:
-When should I grab their hand?
-What if she doesn’t touch my arm at all?
-How long should I put my hand on her lower back when opening the door for her?

It’s almost as if we constantly pack firewood for camping when what we really needed was marshmallows.  Physical communication is a fact of life and it’s the dangerous waters that are most frequently waded through like a four- year-old in a chicken coup.
I was reading through a recent study from University of Minnesota around using touch to get what you want.  Basically someone would leave a coin behind in a phone booth.  When a stranger would come up to the booth, they’d pocket the coin.  Researchers would then send in someone to ask if the person pocketing the coin had “scene their coin, they just left it there”.  Just straight asking the question, the phone booth thieves returned the coin a paltry 23% of the time.  Thanks guy!

They re-ran this test, only on top of just asking the question, the users were touched lightly on the elbow for a brief second.  The elbow is a non-threatening area and probably the easiest area to touch someone without them really noticing.  Just this touch alone, increased the return rate to 68%.  If only my boss were so easy come raise time.  The point is, that the little innocent touch increased the bond and trust rate between two otherwise complete strangers.
The elbow is key here.  Just as with verbal communication, there’s a ladder to climb.  You don’t jump right in and ask if someone’s parents are divorced or if they have a terrifying fear of spiders right away.  You don’t jump right in for a kiss right away.  Well you could, but she’d jump up the ladder just as quick with a kick to the manhood.  Either way, you didn’t follow the rules on intimacy.

There’s a small trust and compliance step required to move further and further down the intimacy path with someone.  Ignoring these while attempting to climb a verbal ladder typically is what throws most people to the dreaded “friend zone”.  Lovers are supposed to touch, and when they don’t before the end of the night.  You start wondering if it’s ok to touch, it’s going to be awkward either way.  Here are some key steps to take throughout the night before going in for the kiss.

1.    Touch non intimate body part with non intimate part of yours – almost like when you use the back of your hand to smack your friend for attention, or kick their shoes to get mud on them